Cooking vs. Sports

The New Hampshire Governor’s Salad Primary

2012-01-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

Let’s say you’re still sticking to your resolution of healthy eating, but you want a New Hampshire meal to dine on as you watch the primary coverage, well, here it is. The New Hampshire Governor’s salad.

It includes: pears (Josiah Bartlett, John H. Bartlett) bell peppers (Samuel Bell, John Bell), and blood oranges (Robert O. Blood), sprinkled with Colby cheese (Anthony Colby) and served with raspberry vinaigrette (Nathaniel S. Berry).

BCSEC

2012-01-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

The BCS Championship game was in New Orleans and featured Louisiana State University, also Cajun food is much better than any type of Alabama meal, which is probably something like deep fried pigs feet.

We took andouille tukey sausage and cooked it with celery, green peppers, onions (the Cajun holy trinity) garlic, and sprinkled everything with cayenne pepper, paprika, thyme and oregano. Combined that with brown rice and for a final touch covered the whole thing with Crystal Hot Sauce.

On Saturday I tried to get an Alabama Slammer, I assumed it was a shot was whiskey and Southern Comfort. Turns out it’s Amaretto, Southern Comfort, Sloe gin, and orange juice, no wonder they are hard to find in the Northwest. We settled for this thing—rum, lime, mint leaves, orange juicesoda water, and muddled deep fried pigs feet.

Tebowing and Drinkowing

2012-01-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

I don’t really care about Tim Tebow. However, my friend, a giant Broncos fan, has to. At first he hated him, now he loves him. On Sunday he had people over to watch the playoff game vs the Steelers, served Colorado Coors Light and the same vodka based Orange Crush drink sold at Mile High Stadium that gets Bronco fans Teebowing in their own urine.

Texas Food 67, Huskies 56

2011-12-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

UDub vs a Texas team in a Texas bowl game-- Texas food!

Chicken Tacos Verde.

Texas Red Chili.

2011 Alamo Bowl: Baylor 130, Huskies 117.

Nalesniki 86, Huskies 80

2011-12-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

It took me ever to master pancakes, so crepes without a crepe pan, it’s gonna take much longer.

Nalesniki are polish pancakes and since the Huskies had an early morning game against Duke and America’s favorite Polish basketball coach Mike “Krzyzewski” K, (sorry guys on far right and left. 17, are you even on the team?), I decided they would make the perfect breakfast.

Things started out fine, made the filling, got the strawberry jam, and then I went to flip the crepe and katastrofa.

2011-12-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Hats Can Be Food

2011-12-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

I’m trying to branch out from just a guy who likes to match food with games, so the other night I went to watch the Huskies lose a stupid game to the University of Nevada-Reno wearing my Reno Rendering hat that I got from a friend whose family owns the animal and marine fats and oils rendering plant.

I don’t think there is help for what I have.

Seahawks 31, Philadelphia-Cheese-Italian-Sausage-Non-Steaks14

2011-12-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

Before the Seahawks vs. Eagles Thursday night game I thought to myself Philadelphia cheesesteaks are so played out…how about Philadelphia-cheese-Italian-sausage-non-steaks…The trick is to hide your guests shoes and keys.

Houston's Cheese Enchiladas with Extra Cheese and Onions

2011-11-30T05:00:00.000-08:00

This past week it was announced that the Houston Astros are moving to the AL West in 2013 and my first Husky game of the season was against Houston Baptist University (coming soon, accreditation!).

The Houston Chronicle’s Richard Justice has some words for those Astros fans upset by the move to the American League, “"You are fearful today because the American League is an unknown quantity. But you will love it. You will love it more than the cheese enchiladas with extra cheese and onions at Pappasito's.”

Also, he built the city out of his own children so I enjoyed some Sam Houston Whiskey. A brand so smooth it doesn’t even make the man’s Wikipedia page.

Thanksgiving Weekend 2011

2011-11-28T05:00:00.000-08:00

For Thanksgiving I was put in charge of the green bean casserole…

Then I made a turkey and sausage loaf without anyone having to ask me, because that’s how I conduct business, son.

Later in the weekend it was the Apple Cup, so I soaked chicken apple sausages in apple juice before boiling them.

I also invented the perfect Apple Cup drink, the Rayn Leaf. Apple Cider and Dickle.

Punjene paprike 3, Turkey 0

2011-11-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

Croatia battled my adopted Turkey for one of the final spots in Euro 2012. The winner, the Balkan nation's stuffed peppers or as they are called in Croat-talk, punjene paprike.

Kronenbourg 1664 1, US 0

2011-11-11T16:45:00.000-08:00

A Kronenbourg 1664 (France's Bud Lite) at The Market Arms during the USMNT v. France's international friendly.

2011-11-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

Real Honey Chicken and Salted Potatoes 3, Sounders 2

2011-11-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

As I've previusoly explained a game against a Utah team means a honey based meal, hence the honey chicken. Not a lot of recipes for salt dishes (thanks doctors) so we sliced up some potatoes covered them with them olive oil and salt, then cooked the moisture out of them.

Speaking of moisture, it was pretty rainy for the dramatic, but ultimately un-206-winning conclusion of the Real Salt Lake vs Sounders FC series.

World Series of BBQ

2011-10-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

St Louis Ribs from RoRo BBQ.

Smoked Beef Brisket from Manna's Texas Style BBQ. This was the best smelling restaurant I have ever been in.

We promise to actually start cooking again very soon...

2011 NLCS: Milwaukee Millers vs St. Louis Budweisers

2011-10-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

The National League Championship Series will be played in Miller Park and Busch Stadium. So when watching the Brewers and Cardinals enjoy a Miller or a Bud, or both, because they need the money to continue making those awful ads shown during every commercial every sporting event ever.

During Game 3 at Wing Masters I had a few of both and ended taking a quick nap next to this little friend. Hey, you, get out of here, the Rockies finished in fourth place!

2011-10-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

Sounders Beat Oktoberfest Again

2011-10-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

In what's becoming a Cooking vs Sports tradition, the Sounders once again played in a US Open Cup championship game against a team from a city with a large German population, not Munich, Chicago. So why not another Oktoberfest meal. Bratwurst grilled onion, German pretzel and Widmer Brother's Okto Festival Style Ale in the boot we got during last year's World Cup.

The Sounders won 2-0, for their third straight US Open Cup title.

The last team to win three straight US Open Cups was New York based Greek American Atlas Astoria who won the cup from 1967-1969. So in honor of them we had a pre-game Lamb Burger with feta cheese and red onions at The J&M.

Prost to a third cup!

Seahawks vs Trader Ming's (Their Name, Not Mine!)

2011-09-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

Most of my comedy group, The Habit, was in town for a rare show, our first in Seattle since 2002. With two shows on Saturday night we decided to unwind and watch the first weekend of NFL football, especially the Seahawks vs 49ers game on Sunday.

So, with most people coming over to my place I decided on a San Francisco inspired meal of pan-Asian cuisine (ahem) that went right from the Trader Joe boxes to the oven. However, I did pan fry the pot stickers in soy sauce. Sweat not broken.

Also, Trader Joe’s calls their Asian food Trader Ming’s. Hmmmm. Anyone?

Washington vs. Hawaiian Feast

2011-09-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

In honor of the Washington vs. Hawaii game, my friend, and Hawaii native, Lindsey prepared this delicious menu:

Crab musubi, mochiko chicken, li hing mui pineapple and mango, soy-marinated cucumber pupus, and "rice."

I contributed the beer and pineapple. You're welcome.

Two Rainiers on Sunday

2011-08-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

My first visit to Mt. Rainier national park in the morning...

then Rainiers in the evening.

Side Note: At the Sunrise Visitor Center Rainiers cost $5 a can.

US vs Mexico for a Dollar Each

2011-08-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

I watched the first half of the US vs Mexico friendly at the Roanoke, where it just happened to be taco night. Dollar tacos and dollar Miller High Life, fittingly, the best of these two nations.

Why No Sancocho

2011-08-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

With the Sounders locked in a two week CONCACAFAFCAF Champions League duel with Panamanian superpower (?) San Francisco FC, I’m sure you’re looking for our attempt at Sancocho de gallina. Well, sorry brah', it’s summer, time to get out an ejoy.

First I went to this cabin by a lake, and came back with a bunch of leftover food. There was way I could justify buying new groceries. Then, when that food was gone I went up to the San Juans for a few days.

The Sancho will have to wait until the 2014 World Cup Final.

Drinking with Manchester United

2011-07-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Boddingtons was brewed in Manchester from 1778 through 2004. It’s beer and cream, people.

Manchester United was in town to play the Sounders, and here we see the only time Wayne Rooney touched the ball without scoring.

The Carolina BBQ Infield (not a W. P. Kinsella story)

2011-07-18T06:00:00.001-07:00

The Mariners called up the pride of Kannapolis, North Carolina, third baseman Kyle Seager to go along with their first baseman from Goose Creek, South Carolina, and second baseman from Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The shortstop is from here.

However, three out of four aint bad, so I made Carolina barbecue sauce from scratch. Unlike other regional barbeque sauces, Carolinians use a mustard vinegar base.

I then pan fried it with pork, chicken, and a sweet onion I got at a Walla Walla farmer's market over there for the weekend.

2011 Women's World Cup

2011-07-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

I was driving back from Walla Walla during Team USA’s win against Brazil, who knows where I was on Interstate 82 when amazing happened. Determined not miss any such magic in the semi-final game against France, a friend and I took a slight detour from work and ended up at Café Presse. However, the crowd of people prevented me from getting anything more than coffee.

For the World Cup Final I went to Auto Battery, where their menu is made of up their next door neighbor Po Dog’s unique hot dogs. With Japan the opponent I ordered the Po-roll or Sushi Dog: "Rice, Cream Cheese, Cucumbers, Rolled in Sushi Rice Paper then Panko Crusted & Fried."

Cafe Presse was more crowded than the surrender tent at any French concert.

Auto Battery after an extra time goal appeared to give Team USA a victory.

All Star Arizona Hot Dog

2011-07-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

Every year the All Star Game means the annual hot dog eating contest. This year with the game in Phoenix, I gave participants a chance to add salsa and green chilies.

The Bachelorette in Asia

2011-06-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

Summer provides a bit of a lull in the sports landscape, so like last year, I'm turning to The Bachelorette to help us pull me through. With, I can’t even remember her name, taking the men, including the one who will eventually leave her, throughout Asia, we went into our basement and dusted off our wok.

The first stop was two weeks Thailand, so we made Thai chicken salad, that is the limey, cilantroy, thai-foody dressing/marinade on the side one week...

...and had Phad Thai and Fresh Spring Rolls with Peanut Sauce from Kinnaree the next, or vice-versa. I guess that's why it's called the Land Down Under.

Then it was off to Hong Kong, which is kind of like of like China, and this store bought General Tso’s Chicken is kind of like Chinese Food.

Prost to Dirk

2011-06-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

To watch Dirk Nowitzki, perhaps one of the ten greatest basketball players born Würzburg, Germany in 1978, win his first NBA championship I went to Seattle’s number eins German bar, Prost on Phinney Ridge. They were so excited about their native son that I only had to ask once if the TV could be changed from a repeat of the ‘MLS Goals of the Month Show’ to the start of the second half of the game.

Dirk, you big German krizenhauzentazenkretz, you captured our heart. However, reality sank back in the next day when this happened.

The 2011 NBA Finals: Cuban vs Cuban

2011-06-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

With the NBA Finals a contest between the Miami Heat and Mark Cuban’s Dallas Mavericks it seemed like the perfect time to enjoy the official sandwich of Dexter Morgan and South Beach.

This is your standard Cuban sandwich, ham, roasted pork, Swiss cheese, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, and jalapenos, on a mini loaf of white bread.

This is the Cuban Roast from Paseo, in Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood— a baguette with marinated slow roasted pork shoulder, seasoned mayonnaise , cilantro, jalapeños, romaine lettuce and caramelized onions.

Drinking From the 2011 Stanley Cup

2011-06-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

Here are the mass produced beers of British Columbia and Boston, both of which I've been enjoying during the series.

The local favorites are made by Vancouver's Granville Island Brewery and Boston's Harpoon Brewery. I've had a wee-bit too much of both while on vacation.

NHL P'offs: iRoot For the Canucks vs San Jose

2011-05-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

Braised Pork Medallions With Apples

Turkey Culinary Recap (Part 1 of 26)

2011-05-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Doner Plate, Lamb and Figs, with Chai at Havuzlu in Istanbul's Grand Bazar

Simit in Göreme.

England Culinary Recap (Part 1 of 26)

2011-04-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

Bangers and Mash at the Rose and Crown Pub in St. Albans.

Ploughman's, Salt and Vinegar Crisps, and Tea for lunch in Covent Garden's St. Paul's Church's garden in London.

NHL Playoffs: Canucks vs Deep Dish Pizza

2011-04-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

The Only Way to Get Through Mariner Season

2011-04-16T08:29:00.000-07:00

Mariners vs Kansas City's Boulevard Brewing's Pilsner at The Noble Fir.

2011 Final Four

2011-04-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Houston: Texas BBQ Tex-Mex Fajitas

Championship Game: Butler (India(na)Pale Ale) vs UConn (This beer with a husky on the label)

Opening Day

2011-04-01T19:07:00.000-07:00

The night before Opening Day an Eric Wedge Salad at King's Hardware.

Time to Slow Things Down

2011-03-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

I’m going to be honest, a year after re-starting this multimedia extravaganza I’m once again losing interest. For example, for the Huskies tournament opponents I just went with condiments. Peach salsa for the University of Georgia and North Carolina made Bone Sucking BBQ Sauce for UNC. The BBQ sauce marinated chicken and pork, and then everything was cooked in the a pan. Very yummy.

I’m still going to toss up timely pictures, but not much else.

Charleston Culinary Recap (Part 1 of 26)

2011-03-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

I went to Charleston, among other things I ate grits, Carolina BBQ, and drank Palemnto beer. Here are photos of all the regional fare I ate while in South Carolina.

Charleston Trip Photo Set.

Super Bowl XLV: Beer Cooked Brats w/ Cheese 31, Chipped Chopped Ham 25

2011-02-07T17:00:00.000-08:00

For Green Bay, Uli's German Bratwurst's cooked in Wisconsin's Miller Beer, and served with sharp chedar cheese.

For Pittsburgh, Chipped Chopped Ham-- as Western Pennslyvania as an unwanted Ben Roethlisberger fisting. Thinly sliced ham, onions, green peppers, and BBQ sauce slow cooked for two hours, then placed on a roll with shredded cheese.

Chip Chopped Ham Photo Set
Beer Cooked Brats w/ Cheese Photo Set

Super Bowl Preview

2011-01-31T05:00:00.000-08:00

The problem with the Steelers consistently making the Super Bowl is, not only does it give me night terrors, but we’re running out of Western Pennsylvania food. When the Steelers last played I went all out and spent hours re-creating Primanti Brothers sandwiches, made famous by the Pittsburgh institution. This turned into a giant disaster.

Lesson learned: if you’re going to make food for a Super Bowl party, keep it simple.

This year in honor of Pittsburgh we’ll be making BBQ chipped chopped ham sandwiches. We got the idea from this website, which got the idea from Western Pennsylvania’s style of slicing ham real thin to enhance the flavor. This turned into an industry of processed meat. I’ll probably be going a little more organic.

As for Green Bay, well, I’ve mixed the region’s beer, brats and cheese before, it really good, it’s really easy, so, yeah; I’ll be doing that again. Cooking brats in beer, and covering them with cheese, it’s the perfect Super Bowl food.

Next week we’ll discuss the results.

NFL Playoff Sausagefest

2011-01-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

The Seahawks unexpected run into the NFL Playoff’s Divisional Round may have been highlighted by Marshawn Lynch’s “Beastquake,” however, I felt pretty good about my contribution of a sausage meal for both of the their opponents.

I watched the Seahawks vs. Saints game at my friend’s apartment, where I provided Cajun style Andouille sausage with grilled peppers, onions, and left over Cajun Sunshine Hot Pepper Sauce.

Hoping to continue this success I made sure to enjoy a Chicago Dog at the Ballard Loft before the Hawks vs. Bears game. So on the Thursday before the game I ordered one, despite having a few beers and tots at a happy hour near by.

That was a bad idea. The combination of polish sausage, tomatoes, green relish, peppers, and onions did not go that well with whatever bad things were already taking place in my stomach.

The bad things continued into the night, and sadly translated over to Solider Field as the Bears ran away early on their way to an 11 point victory.

BCS Title Bowl: (Pacific)North(West) vs South

2011-01-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, and all that. Tonight the Oregon Ducks are playing the Auburn Tigers for the mythical BCS National Championship.

Now wouldn’t you know it I spent a chunk of time around New Year’s in Oregon, and while watching the Huskies win the Holiday Bowl at hipster/Blazer bar in Portland, Spirit of ’77, I enjoyed a truly BCS Title Bowl meal.

Representing Oregon, and that micro-brew crazy region, I enjoyed a pint (or few) of Amnesia Dusty Trail Pale Ale, brewed in Portland. Representing Auburn, a bowl of hushpuppies, the deep fried Southern delicacy made from cornmeal batter.

Okay, so can we play this game before the 2011 College Football season starts?

Happy Holidays

2010-12-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

We're taking a break until January 10, returning just in time for the BCS Title game.

Cy Pabellón Criollo Award

2010-12-17T15:06:00.001-08:00

For my last meal of the year I chose to honor Felix Hernandez, and his 2010 Cy Young performance, by making one of the more popular meals in his native Venezuela, pabellón criollo. I started by browning two pounds of beef sirloin in a pan. Then I simmered it in a covered pot, along with onions, salt and pepper, for over ninety minutes. That gave me plenty of time to chop red peppers, onions, and peeled/seeded tomatoes.

After an hour of half of haunted house like noises coming from my “meat pot,” the beef, should have be ready to break apart instantly. Instead, I had had to encourage it with a sharp knife, but after that it shredded easily.

I sautéed the peppers and onions in cumin while the meat cooled.

Why I had to let it cool I have no idea, because then it’s added into the pan along with some of the oniony/salty/peppery water it was cooking in. Twenty minutes later the water had some how disappeared (I checked under the oven, just buttons and a gateway to other dimension or something. I didn’t have time to talk the Minotaur gatekeeper so I’m not exactly sure) and it was ready for serving.

Now pabellón criollo is not complete without rice and black beans, which I simply heated. Also on the plate are fried plantains, which are there to keep the rest of the food from falling off of the plate. (Solution, Felix uses his Cy Young bonus to buy the people of Venezuela bigger plates). Earlier in the year I had experience frying plantains, so I simply baked them in the over at 350 for about half an hour. Much better.

Sure, afterwards Hugo Chavez complained that my kitchen smelt like sulfur, but it in the end (oh, please don’t) the meal was fit for a king (so sorry).

Pabellón Criollo photo set

Chicken Apple Sausage Cup

2010-12-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

Cooking wise the Apple Cup is easy. Just get a bunch of apples and apple related food, and you are in several kinds of business.

Since I was having people over I got a bunch of chicken apple sausage and Skagit Valley Apple Cider, which brags of including 30 apples in each gallon—that’s a lot.

I boiled the sausages with a few shakes of cinnamon, which turned into a few more shakes, and pretty soon I had quite the cinnamon slick. To top these cinnamon flavored chicken apple sausages I grilled some sliced apples on the stovetop, also using cinnamon.

Needless to say my kitchen soon smelt like a dumping ground for gingerbread men.

In the end the Huskies won, and now have enough left over apples to repel every doctor in a thirty mile radius.

Chicken Apple Sausage Photo Set

Thankful for KC BBQ

2010-11-29T18:00:00.000-08:00

In honor of the Kansas Chiefs coming to Qwest Field and smacking around the Hawks, we had some Thanksgiving leftovers with Kansas City BBQ sauce. KC sauce is sweeter than most if you wanna more we wrote this very long post on the history of the City of Fountains of main export.

The Oven Kalau Pork Invitational

2010-11-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

With the Huskies in Hawaii playing the only college basketball tournament that takes place in Kenya, I decided to host a laua and make oven kalua pork. However, this was the day that the weather gods decided to cover Seattle with snow and instead of calling people over I found myself skidding into a curb. I decided to abandon my car a few ice covered blocks from home, and realized that this would be a meal for one.

I stopped by the store and Bill the Butcher to pick up everything Hawaiian, and hired a Sherpa to guide me home.

First I took my three pounds of pork butt, and placed it in a dish of water, covered it with coarse sea salt, added a touch of liquid smoke and teriyaki sauce, covered it with tin foil and stuck in the oven for three hours.

I passed the time by slicing pineapple.

When the pork came out of the oven it broke apart with the slightest push of a wooden fork. I took the, now shredded pork, and mixed in a bowl with Maui Mountain Teriyaki sauce, and placed it on sweet Hawaiian rolls.

Of course kalua pork sliders and pineapple only get ninety-nine percet of the way to a successful laua for one, so I also had two types of beers from Kona Brewing Company (Longboard Lager and Fire Rock Pale Ale) and Hawaiian style kettle potato chips from the big island of Algona, Washington.

Then with the rest of the city shut down it was back into the snow to watch the Huskies destroy UVA 9at one point Zombie Thomas Jefferson stormed out of the gym) at the neighborhood pub, and scoff at those ordering the Teriyaki burger.

Oven Kalau Pork Photo Set

San Fransisco Culinary Recap (Part 1 of 26)

2010-11-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

A weekend in San Fransisco for a wedding gave me enough for for dim sum in Chinatown.

Grand Salami Time

2010-11-16T21:53:00.000-08:00

I never met Dave Niehaus, and yet there is a very good chance that I have listened to his voice more than any other persons.

Niehaus died last Wednesday, and following the Mariners will never be as fun. Mind you, it hasn’t been that much fun, but that was the magic of Niehaus, he made is so enjoyable.

Now, before I break into clichés that get so easily banded about during times like this, let me just say, I loved listening to him, in my eyes he was bigger than life, he was family, and I will miss him dearly.

So, in honor of the departed legend I made the sandwich he referred to every time a Mariner cleared the bases with a home run. To quote Mr. Niehaus, “Get out the rye bread and the mustard, Grandma, its grand salami time.”

Salumi in Pioneer Square serves up a similar sandwich that they, in turn, named after him when he went into Baseball's Hall of Fame.

My oh my, he will be missed.

Thanks Dave.

Season Opener: Huskies 118, Gumbo 64

2010-11-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

Husky basketball season is starting on Saturday, and I could not be more excited. In fact, I’m writing this from a tent outside HecEd so I can be the first fan through the doors [cut to shot me sleeping through alarm, further reveal to show that’s it’s now late May].

The new season brings McNeese State to Montlake all the way from Lake Charles, Louisiana. Each year the city holds a festival called Contraband Days, the highlight appears be tons of Cajun food. In honor of this I made gumbo.

Seafood and chicken are usually found in the gumbo’s murky waters; however, I used chicken and Andouille sausage, along with the Cajun holy trinity of vegetables: celery, bell peppers, and onions.

First I cubed the chicken, and coated it with spices including cayenne pepper. Then I made the roux by mixing and heating vegetable oil andcflour for about thirty minutes. In a large sauce pan I added chicken broth, more spices, the roux, chicken, sausage, vegetables, and let everything simmer until it became thick and dark brown. I served it over rice, and scallions, and added many, many shakes of Cajun Sunshine Hot Pepper Sauce.

The perfect thing to add fire to my brain, and get me ready for the season.

Gumbo Photo Set

2010-11-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

Tamales 3, Sounders 1

2010-11-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

In honor of the Sounders playoff matchup with Los Angeles’ Galaxy team, I had a dinner of tamales.

Now you may be screaming, “Hey, all you did was some simple husking.” “That kind of effort is off sides,” adding “I should throw a yellow card in your fat face.” However, may I remind you that we are talking about the MLS Playoffs, and that the Sounders were already down a goal going into Sunday’s game.

Also, all of your yelling upset the team and they lost the series 3-1. Happy?

2010 World Series of Poker of Baseball

2010-11-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

The night before Game One we had a large meal of Chinese food in honor of San Francisco’s Chinatown, the largest outside of Asia, which for obvious reasons doesn't count. Once before we made a Chinese food inspired meal for San Francisco, and we taken to task by a commenter.

For Texas we skipped our usual Saturday morning breakfast of pancakes, and opted for our first Chicken Fried Steak. A Lone Star culinary treat, chicken fried steaks are somewhat similar to breaded pork tenderloin. However, because they are from Texas, steak is used. Its beaten thin and then fried in a pan. Mine came covered with sausage gravy and a side of potatoes.

Fear the Steam

2010-10-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

For Game 1 of the World Series I went to a friend's house.

A friend from San Jose, who grew collecting the baseball cards of Will Clark and Matt Williams. Needless to say she was pretty excited. So not only did I bring a beard to fear, I also brought along Anchor Steam beer, which has been brewed in San Fransisco since 1896.

Arizona Pizza Weekend

2010-10-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

With both the Huskies and Hawks playing Arizona this past weekend, I decided to make something inspired by the Southwest, by that I mean Mexican. Now, there hundreds of different dishes, however, they all end up not being as good coming out of my kitchen, as they do does coming out a truck. So I decided to invented Mexican pizza.

I started with pizza crust (lost yet?), and then instead of tomato sauce I used salsa. Instead of mozzarella, a mixture of cheddar and pepper jack. My topping was ground beef and rice cooked in taco mix.

I also could have added sour cream, guacamole, black olives, pollo, tomatoes, lettuce, peppers, the list goes on, but this being an experiment I wanted to keep it simple.

Right out of the oven I had two slices. Not bad. However, the next day when I went for leftovers we couldn’t muster the confidence. Honestly, it was the rice. Rice does not belong on pizza, and it ruined it for me.

Thankfully the opportunities to try again will be fewer.

Arizona Pizza Photo Set

Lunch Championship Series

2010-10-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

With baseball down to its final four teams this is one of my favorite weeks of the year.

To “celebrate” we bought lunch at our workplace’s cafeteria, deli, or a near by takeout. It’ll be a tasty week of baseball, the break room microwave, and unnecessary weight gain.

Monday-- Texas Rangers: A short walk downhill from me (wait, uphill on the walk back, come on man!) is the home of the Texas Dog. A hot dog with cheese, BBQ sauce and onion straws—rope ‘em.

Tuesday—San Francisco Giants: San Francisco’s Chinatown is the oldest and biggest in the United States, so is our cafeteria’s selection of reheat-able Chinese food--our pick, the sesame chicken with rice.

Wednesday—New York Yankees: The pastrami on rye here is a rip off. For three bucks cheaper we could have had the same thing at the made to order counter. Just like the Yanks we are paying more and getting less.

Thursday—Philadelphia Phillies: Philly’s strong Italian heritage makes their hoagies some of the best anywhere, so I had the deli’s east coast sandwich, with its Genoa salami, mortadella, marinated red peppers, olive oil and como bread. No regrets.

Friday— I had my stomach pumped.

Seahawks 23, Italian Beef Sandwich 20

2010-10-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Italian Beef Sandwich photo set

Chicago is full of good food, and consequently its residents eat like kings destined for an annual triple bypass. For previous Hawks vs. Bears games I’ve constructed deep dish pizzas and thrown a polish sausage gathering. This season I made the city’s fanous Italian Beef Sandwiches a few nights before the game.

I started with two cups of beef broth, added garlic, oregano, and other Italian seasonings that had been ignored on the spice shelf for years. Then I took thinly sliced beef and boiled everything until the meat turned from chewy pink to rough and tough brown.

Once cooked some of the beef gravy is usually poured on the sandwich, however, I went a little to far and placed my roll in the broth. This made our bread very soggy, but we added the beef and roasted green peppers any way.

It was hard to eat with two hands, but Chicago is a city of one armed men, so we used one hand and shoveled the deliciousness into our mouth.

Sounders 2, Oktoberfest 1

2010-10-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

Unlike most areas invaded by Germans, Columbus, Ohio was done so peacefully in the mid-1800s, by people looking to live there. They have stayed for generations, heavily influencing the city, yet sadly, not the trains.

With the Sounders playing the Columbus Crew (their real name) for the US Open Cup right around Oktoberfest celebrations, I went to Bill the Butcher and bought some smoked and store made bratwurst, that I steamed up with grilled onions.

I then baked, okay, reheated some pretzels (I’ve made pretzels before, it takes a while), squeezed out a side dish of German stone mustard, and filled a boot with beer.

One other thing I did, and I can’t remember where I read this, but, some people add apples to their brats, so I sliced up some granny smiths and placed them on a bun along side the onion. It was delicious, but when I tried to wrap my mouth around everything the first time my jaw cracked.

My mouth was all healed the next night as I cheered on the Sounders to their second consecutive US Open Cup title.

Divisional Series Rooting Previews

2010-10-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

People like make to predictions, I don’t because I have no idea what I’m talking about, and therefore wrong a lot. So instead, I give you the teams I’ll be rooting for in each of the Divisional Series, and when possible, linking to a meal from that city I have prepared.

ALDS
Minnesota Twins big over New York Yankees
Texas Rangers barely over Tampa Bay Rays

NLDS
San Francisco Giants over Atlanta Braves
Philadelphia Phillies barely over the Cincinnati Reds

2010-10-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

Olive Beating USC

2010-10-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

Among the many foods I hate are black olives. So late in Saturday’s Huskies game at USC I declared to all at the Roanoke that if the UDub could some how win, I would eat all the olives that I picked off my salad.

They won, we cheered, I ate the olives, and in the process invented the gag reflex victory dance.

Seahawks 27, Fish Tacos 20

2010-09-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Being on the ocean and close to the Mexican boarder San Diego restaurants have developed a wide variety of fish tacos. Mine are not available at any on them, however, they do come corn taco shells. Then I add cabbage, carrot slices, and here is where they become controversial, instead of fish I use chicken. I don’t like seafood, it tastes gross.

I top the whole thing with a creamy cilantro sauce. The recipes called for a lot of measured ingredients. Instead, I decided to put a bunch of green onions, cilantro, cumin, garlic, lime juice and sour cream in the food processor. Not only did this save time, but it kept my measuring cups clean.

More on San Diego fish tacos.

Chicken Fish Tacos with Cilantro Salsa Photo Set.

にひゃくfor イチロー

2010-09-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

In honor of Ichiro’s historic 200th hit I had dinner at Ichiro’s in Magnolia.

Love Knows Not Regional Fare

2010-09-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend I snuck through an unlocked Exit Only door and ended up at wedding. The couple's dinner options were from significant cities in their relationship. Besides Seattle salmon, there were Philadelphia cheese steaks, Madison bratwurst, St. Louis ribs, and desserts from Italy.

UPDATE: The couple has just filed for divorce.

Seattle vs. Denver, More Than Football

2010-09-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

Seahawks vs. Broncos, this former AFC West rivalry won’t only be a battle of quarterbacks:

It will also be a battle of local beers, both mass produced:

and those made in a garage:

Huskies Fusking Husked

2010-09-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

First off, it was an easy meal to make with the Nebraska Cornhuskers coming into town: husk corn, boil it, slather with butter and pepper. I wish I would have then dumped the left over boiling water into my eyes so I could have spent Saturday in the emergency room, rather than Husky Stadium.

I was seated in the Nebraska section, the fans were great, however, you’d be in a great mood if your team was rolling like the Huskers were. They got a kick out of a contest in which three UDub students competed to see who could husk the most ears of corn in thirty seconds. I got a huge kick out of leaving.

2010-09-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Huskies 41, Orange Chicken 20

2010-09-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

If you went to China and ordered orange chicken at the neighborhood Panda Express they might not know what you’re talking about. That’s because, like pizza poppers, orange chicken was probably invented in a test kitchen and then sent out to greasy Chinese restaurants all over America.

I assume that’s the case, and really don’t care because it’s tasty, and, since there is fruit involved, very, very good for you.

I simply cut up some chicken, orange bell peppers, cooked them inorange sauce, and mixed it all with brown rice. However, I went one step further squeezing orange wedges over our finished product, for a taste that was, well, too damn sweet. I had to make more rice just to tone down the sweetness that was making my brain wiggle.

Peaches for Me

2010-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

The WNBA Finals matchup of the Seattle Storm vs. Atlanta Dream is not only a boon for headline writers (‘Perfect Storm Give Dream Nightmares’), but the first championship game/series I attended since the 2003 MLS Cup. So yeah, if a trophy is hoisted tape delayed on ESPN2 I’ve been there.

Before the game I had a hearty peach lunch, including actual peaches, which taste nothing like the peach wine coolers I grew up on.

I’m not sure when peaches became so synonymous with Georgia, sometime between their arrival in seventeenth century America and Freak Nasty proclaiming that his juice was sweet like Georgia peaches, so sweet in fact, that women enjoyed it with as much sucking power as a leach.

Go Storms!

Golden Bars Forver

2010-09-12T13:15:00.000-07:00

To mark the start of the 2010 Seattle Seahawks Win Forever ™ season, I had breakfast at the Queen Anne Top Pot Donut, where I enjoyed the same maple bars that made Seahawk rookie Golden Tate famous in the Northwest.

The Storms Road WNBA Finals

2010-09-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to pretend that I was with the Storms since the beginning of the season. I was very aware that they were tearing through the rest of the league, that Lauren Jackson and Sue Bird are very good at their job, and that Coach Brian Agler looks like he escaped from a 1930s soup line photograph.

I vowed to jump on the bandwagon when the playoffs started, and not to pat myself on the back, but the team hasn’t lost since. Now they face the Atlanta Dream for the title.

To commemorate this achievement may I present the Seattle Storms Disgusting Beverage Road to the 2010 WNBA Finals:

First behind a barrage of three pointers they swept the Los Angeles Sparks.

Then in the Western Conference Finals against the Phoenix Mercury I witnessed first hand their Game One victory, and watched on the TV their incredible comeback, capped by Sue Bird’s game winning three in the final seconds.

Now, it’s the Finals matchup sure to give headline writers ear to ear grins: Storm vs. Dream.

Orange You Glad I Didn’t Use a Pun

2010-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

Upstate New York is known for more than just the Erie Canal and mouth breathing, the region also boasts several culinary treasures involving hot dogs. From Rochester’s white hots to Rochester’s garbage plate, you would be hard pressed to find an area with more use for ground up pig snouts.

Sadly, the Orange(no longer men)’s glory days of Heisman trophy winners and bowl games have melted away, much like the region’s snow come Memorial Day. This has been replaced with a strong desire for basketball season to start much sooner.

White hots, oranges, and garbage plates, truly the perfect meals to enjoy while watching Syracuse football.

Honey Pancakes 23, Huskies 17

2010-09-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Honey Pancakes preview.

Turns out that Mormon cooking is just like boring old regular cooking, except all recipes are read from the bottom of hats (thank you). Since Utah is known as the Beehive State, what with so many people living in the same home, I made honey heavy pancakes.

(Side note: A friend once pointed out that if the New Orleans Hornets and Utah Jazz switched team names the world would make a little more sense).

I dumped so much honey in the batter, and then on top of the pancakes, that my throat became stickier than the situation Joseph Smith found himself in right before leaving Ohio for Missouri. Luckily we had a glass of wholesome milk nearby for relief.

Now, making pancakes may seem like easy, however, we are incapable of pulling them off. The top photo is one of our honey pancakes, notice how the burnt parts mix with the raw batter. The bottom photo is our failed attempt at Portland’s Slappycakes, where customers sit at giant grills and make their own pancakes. It’s eating in your kitchen, except you have to put your name on a list and wait ten minutes.

Much like Husky football, I wonder how something that should be so easy is instead so maddening.

Storms, Fortune Tamales, and MVPs

2010-09-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Before I went to the Seattle Storms Western Conference Finals game against the Phoenix Mercurys, I had a dinner of southwestern food, including candy fortune tamales that our friend purchased for us in the Phoenix Airport (which is not actually an airport, but a sky harbor).

The Storms won, Lauren Jackson received her third MVP Award and Bill Russell was there!

A Devine Start to College Football '010

2010-08-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

Oh sweet yes, the first week of college football is here.

No more Saturdays spent reading, volunteering, or trying to make a meaningful connection with another human being. Unless some guy makes fun of the phrase ‘Bark for Sark,’ because then my fist will make a meaningful connection with his jaw (provided he weighs less than 115 pounds).

The Washington Huskies open in Provo, Utah against the newly single BYU Cougars. A university known more their religion then, um, well, I think that’s all they do there.

Years ago we drove from Salt Lake City to Southern Utah’s National Parks while listening to Jon Krakauer’s Under the Banner of Heaven, so I got a crash course on the Mormon religion. We even drove into Colorado City for a few minutes before becoming terrified by the empty streets and sped back on to the highway.

However, while fascinating, the book mentions nothing about what is considered Mormon cuisine or even who BYU will start at quarteback on Saturday.

Time to consult the Cv.S research team.

Sounders F.C. v. C.F. Cabrito

2010-08-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

Turns out cabrito is hard to find around here. Apparently there is'nt much call for kid goat in the Northwest, and thanks to my bush league public defender I'm forced to stay five hundred feet from the local petting zoo, so I couldn't just grab one. Instead I had to slum it and get the closest thing I could find, lamb.

I grilled lamb and grilled with peppers, onions, and spices right off the Taco Bell menu. Then I added tomatoes, salsa and put everything on corn tortillas.

Monterrianites drink locally made cola, which lead me to make my own. Inspired by Mexican Coke, which uses real sugar, and therefore is sweeter and tastier, I took high-fructose corn syrup heavy American Coke, and added sugar. Then I ran around my house air-high-fiving for an hour.

Monterrey, the Monterey of Mexico

2010-08-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

The Sounders are currently fighting for an MLS playoff spot, trying to re-peat in the US Open Cup, playing in CONCACAF Champions League group play, and the occasional international friendly.

So I guess in soccer you play as many games as possible until you win a trophy or your team drops dead right there on the field.

This week it’s the CONCACAF Champions League showdown with C.F. Monterrey. Having lost to El Salvador’s Marathon in San Salvador, the Sounders are in desperate need of a win.

My first thought was Monterey, awesome; I’ll eat a block of cheese and call it a day. However, I soon found out that Monterrey has no connection to Monterey, and therefore had to search through the garbage for the receipt.

Unlike the place with John Steinbeck’s prize aquarium, the Mexican city of Monterrey is at the base of the Sierra Madre Oriental, was the location of a ket battle in the Mexican-American War, and is the hometown of Kat Von D.

Cabrito, the meat of a young goat, is a very traditional meal down Monterrey way, so we will try and prepare something kid-goatish leading up the Sounders fifth game in three days.

2010-08-23T10:01:00.001-07:00

A-Rod Turkey Burger

2010-08-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

The two cities that hate Alex Rodriguez the most are Seattle and Boston. So it made sense that I was in Boston when A-Rod hit his 600th home run-- just months after hitting number 599. To commemorate this historic, if not steroid infused achievement, I decided to go the (right near) Harvard Square institution Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage, for their A-Rod burger.

It was billed as a “Real ‘turkey’ burger topped with blue cheese & hot sauce.” Sadly by the time I got to my table it was no longer on the menu, probably replaced by the Elena Kagan or Beat LA burgers.

So, like those hopping to see A-Rod hit number 600, I would have to wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait until I got home. Once back on the west coast I went to the Burger Counter in Ballard and custom ordered a turkey burger with blue cheese and hot sauce.

Their turkey patties and cheese are all natural, so unlike A-Rod nothing artificial was injected.

New England Trip Culinary Recap (Part 1 of 26)

2010-08-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

In Maine we stopped for lobster rolls at the Ogunquit Lobster Shack. In Vermont I had some Ben and Jerry’s, and in New Hampshire we went to Dartmouth institution Everything But Anchovies for their chicken sandwich. A friend pleaded via text that we try the secret MoMuff breakfast sandwich, even though he knew we had already ordered. The man loves his MoMuff.

In Massachusetts, my favorite meal was the Fenway Frank, just because it meant I was at Fenway. However, the Italian food in North Boston was ‘sit down and cry’ good.

We drank two brands of blueberry beer (Sea Dog Wild Blueberry and Wachusett), and enjoyed local brews from Gloucester, Portsmouth, Ipswich, Portland, and of course Boston’s own Sam Adams. In fact, two pints of Sam Adams in one of Boston’s oldest tavern costs $15, King George you’ve won again.

Summah' Vacation

2010-07-28T17:00:00.000-07:00

I'm on vacation in New England, back on August 9.

The Bachelorette Fills the Emptiness

2010-07-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

With the All Star Game and World Cup over, and the Supreme Court ruling that citizens don't have a right to watch and wager on summer camp spelling bees (welcome to Nazi Germany) we have reached one of the year's two sports dead zones.

So now we have to search a little harder for find events to follow, enter the final two episodes of The Bachelorette. With Ali down to Cape Cod Chris, rock hard Roberto, and subtle cross-dresser Frank, shit is about to get real.

The final episodes take place in Tahiti, so we marinated chicken it in pineapple juice over night, cooked it, and then smothered in mango, uh, "sauce."

Sounder FC v. Celtic FC v. Pricey Scotch

2010-07-21T17:00:00.000-07:00

With Celtic FC in town for an international friendly against their arch-rival Sounders FC, we decided to start the day off with a truly Scottish breakfast: porridge and scotch whiskey.

I add milk, to my porridge and in Scotland I they add salt, so I did the same thing. Just a wee bonnie pinch, lassie.

The game started at noon, so right before heading over to the stadium I ordered a glass of scotch whiskey. It came with a price tag of $23.50 (exactly, I don’t tip). Then and there we decided that 11:30 on a Sunday morning is way too early to drink; we changed our mind and got a beer instead.

We went through the whole game and drive home without a single sip of scotch whiskey. That would probally get McSomeone kicked out of Celtic Park.

So as soon as I got home a glass poured a glass of Famous Grouse was poured, and then another. Soon I was wondering aloud why a team from Scotland get all Irishey with things.

The Anaheim Chili Pepper Burger is an All Star

2010-07-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

It being summer, I took my talents to the BBQ and used Anaheim chili peppers to turn an ordinary burger into a [over the top drum roll] Anaheim Chili Pepper Burger.

While our patties were cooking on the grill, I broiled the peppers until their green skin became charred and black. Then, we steamed them in a sealed paper bag for fifteen minutes. This helps the burnt skin peal off easier, and we were left with the spicy greenness inside.

We couldn’t help but think that this is an undignified way for any living thing to spend their final moments. Once growing free, thriving under the sun, now shoved in a paper bag, preparing to be ripped apart and turned into fecal matter…Also, we used Verde taco sauce instead of ketchup.

Red Mill makes the best Anaheim Chili Burgers we’ve tasted, however, on the scale of All Stars; this one was a solid Matt Thornton.

The Anaheim All Star Game of Baseball

2010-07-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

This year the All Star Game is in Anaheim, and even though the team is called Los Angeles, traffic has moved these two cities very far apart. It would be like calling a team that plays on the moon the Earth Wildcats.

Now for the last four All Star Games I have hosted a hot dog eating contest. Which is, yes, disgusting, however, most people only eat about four, and then we spend the rest of the evening making fun of ourselves for being genuinely excited about watching the All Star Game.

Since tonight is for hot dogs, we will do something with Anaheim Chili Peppers this week.

Back before Disneyland and Lauren Conrad were invented, Orange County was farmland, and this pepper was brought to the area by a farmer named Emilio Ortega. They are currently the most popular chili pepper in America, however, never count out Flea’s fan base.

The Whole World in my Belly

2010-06-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

Read all about my 32 meals or drinks at the The SunBreak.com.

Here is the complete World Cup photo set.

Every four years, the people of earth set aside their religious, territorial, and cultural differences and funnel all of their hate through soccer.

In honor of this year’s World Cup, I will eat, drink, or make a meal inspired by each country in the the entire 33 team field…What’s that?…Belgium is out? They just packed up and left? Well fine, who needs them anyway. Now, where was I, oh yes, I will eat, drink, or make a meal inspired by each country in the entire 32 team field by the final game on July 11.

Easy you think? Well because only one Scandinavian and three Asian teams qualified I’m at a serious hometown disadvantage. If anyone knows of a good Slovakian restaurant or Slovenian recipe, please let me know.

Now, if you’re asking yourself, what does this guy knows about international cuisine, I confess not that much. However, may I ask you what you know about doing your job? Yeah, that’s what I thought. We’re in the same boat you and I, so I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.

We’ll be starting on Friday with World Cup host South Africa, and their delicious KFC Popcorn Chicken.

Guinness Stew

2010-06-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

Guinness Stew photo set and preview.

As much as I love beer, I don’t like Guinness, however, Guinness and whiskey, yes, I like that. So it was a no brainer what to do with our left over ingredients, car bombs with carrot stumps!!!!

Also, a thought on simmering, keep an eye on things or you can put a serious burn on the bottom of your pot. Admittedly this gets harder the more car bombs you drink. Iz love you…IZ LOVE EXPANDING POTATOES…I’m so happy, Ray Allen, Nate Roginminbinson, you’rz my bezt friendzz…GO CELTICS!!!

World Series of Poker of College Softball

2010-06-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

Winning a softball national championship is so last year, so it's no big whoop (whop?) that the UDub was two and out in this year’s World Series of College Softball. Sadly, it means the end of pitching robot Danielle Lawrie’s amazing career.

Lawrie was Washington’s most successful female British Columbian athlete since basketball player Breanne Watson. So it seemed only natural to ask Bre, who is playing basketball in some sort of country called Luxembourg (when not perfecting her awesome blog) what kind of meal we should enjoy while watching Lawrie and the team’s other non-Canadian players.

At first she told us, “Maple glazed salmon or BBQ salmon. Salmon is very BC and maple syrup is very cliché.” However, we reminded her about our insane no seafood rule. She countered, “Chilliwack corn on the cob, but that’s not ready until August...Danielle is from Langley, and they grow lots of strawberries out there and its farmland so that might help you out.”

Finally we decided on the glacier beer from British Columbia, Kokanee, and a Canadian-themed pizza.

Pizza and beer. North America rullzzz!!!

Lakers vs. Guinness Stew, The Rivalry Renewed

2010-06-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

If Seattle can’t have an NBA team then all of its citizens should at least get the chance to play for championship, starting with Nate Robinson. I watched him play in high school, college, and the pros. His dunks at Washington helped me create new screams, and it’s possible that the Kryptonate t-shirt I wore to an interview cost me a job at the State Department.

Sure his Twitter confuses me, but the thought of him curled up next to the Larry O’Brien trophy…you know what, I’m just going to stop there.

He is without a doubt an all-time Celtic, and on the verge of leading Boston to their first title in over twenty-three years (months), meaning he’ll be beloved in two cities (sorry Turtle).

In honor of Boston’s impending Nate lead championship I am going to make Guinness stew. It's well known that the C’s mascot was downing it with whiskey right before taking this photo (he has since gone on to book other modeling gigs).

It’s not often we think this, but thank the sweet lord for Irish food, because the only other thing they eat in New England is seafood and baked beans, both of which are put in my mouth no-nos.

Oh, and because the Lakers greased the path to the NBA Finals with whatever covers Sasha Vujacic’s skin, they were able to side into the series as well, so we’ll add salsa, and try it on taco shells.

Seattle law states I have to add this disclaimer to anything written about the NBA: I hope David Stern dies a slow painful death from a skin eating fire bacteria, followed by his entire family skidding off the road and plummeting over the edge of the world’s largest ravine in history.

2010-06-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

Lord Stanley's Hot Dog

2010-05-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

The last hockey game I watched was Vancouver’s final loss of the season back on May 11. Yet, even without me, the NHL decided to keep playing, and now the Chicago Blackhawks are playing the Philadelphia Flyers in the Stanley Cup Finals.

To match our still lukewarm enthusiasm for teams other than our beloved Vancouver, uh, Canucks (?) , we are making perhaps the simplest meal possible. From the windy streets of Chicago a Polish sausage, and from the brother loving streets of Philadelphia, their cream cheese.

Well, it was branded Philadelphia Cream Cheese because when Kraft started selling it Philly was seen as quite the culinary marvel. Nowadays it’s the gateway to the Cherry Hill Mall (free parking available).

Cream cheese on a sausage, that’s right, Seattle style mo-fos. Presenting our 2010 Stanley Cup Seattle Dog…We are willing to sell the trademark, well, not so much willing as painfully desperate.

Risotto 2, Bratwurst 0

2010-05-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Risotto v. Bratwurst photo set and preview.

The game was a monumental soccer blowout (2-0, Internazionale), but the only thing that the Bratsotto blew out were our taste buds [self satisfied smile].

Once the rice, olive oil, and seasonings, started to simmer we just had to make sure they didn’t turn into full on glop. We were just going for light glop.

When our risotto was almost done we added parmesan cheese, chopped basil, sliced bratwurst, and mixed it all together. Finally, we dressed up all fancy style, adding more parmesan cheese and basil leaves. Two great European cultures together again, in our digestive tract.

Sweet Onion Tacos in Walla Walla

2010-05-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

I spent last weekend in Walla Walla speaking to Whitman College’s graduating class of 2010. Of course none were listening to me as the made their way across campus. Next time I’m getting out of my car.

Of the many meals I ate and glasses of wine I drank, my mouth’s favorite were these Walla Walla tacos from the La Monarca taco truck. Covered in the region’s famous sweet onions they gave our breath the ability to apply for residency.

UEFA's Risottowurst

2010-05-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

America has the Super Bowl, Canada has Drunken Eskimo Wrestling Summer Slam, and Europe has the UEFA Champions League Final.

The best soccer clubs in Europe play a year long tournament during their regular national seasons, and World and Euro Cup Qualifying. On top of that there are also lower division matches, and other reginal tournaments. No wonder all their economies are collapsing.

This year’s game in Madrid will feature Bayern Munich vs. Internazionale. It’s the first time Italy and Germany will be matched up since, uh-oh.

Look, far be it from me to play Monday Morning Quarterback with the Nazi’s Military decisions, but if you’re going to try and take over world, of all the countries to partner up with, Italy really? You’re going into battle with these guys? Try using your noodle next time, assuming there is a next time.

Internazionale is located in Milan, where sure they eat pasta and a-spicy meatballs-a, but regionally it’s more a rice based cuisine. So we’ll be making risotto, the one Italian dish that Pizza Hut continues to blackball.

Bayern Munich is in Bavarian country, you know what they consume there besides beer out of aquarium tanks, bratwurst.

Also, do you know what you can add to risotto along with short grain rice, broth, and parmesan cheese? Meat. Yes, that’s right I'm making risotto with bratwurst.

Congratulations to David, a Former CvsS Intern

2010-05-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

Healthier Double Down

2010-05-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

Healthier Double Down photo set and preview.

It’s very possible that most new fast food sandwiches are the results of drunken dares by fast food executives. This is of course what makes them so awesome--as long as they don’t actually get inside your mouth.

KFC’s new Double Down is two pieces of fried chicken as the bun, bacon, two kinds of melted cheese, and the Colonel’s (ahem) Sauce. It has trumped everything, until someone has the BALLS to make a pizza and tater tot milkshake burger with bacon.

I set out to make a healthier version of the Double Down, and consulted Nutritionist Elisa. We came up with these healthier organic ingredients: grilled chicken, Canadian bacon, shredded low fat Monterey Jack cheese, and light Miracle Whip.

Sure it was still meat as bread, more meat, cheese, and mayo, however, unlike our friends, who had the Double Down and reported feeling like Satan was kickboxing their stomach, my “sandwich” didn’t want make me want to crawl to the bathroom and pray it out of my system through any hole possible.

Do Not Attempt This in Arizona

2010-05-05T17:55:00.000-07:00

Like, there was this one time where I tried to make torillas, and it like, didn't go that well. So, like at a work Cinco de Mayo lunch, some dude had like a machine or something that like made them, so like I did, and it went totally better.

On the Rail (Right?)

2010-05-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

Short people hitting horses on sticks for the amusement of Ashlee Simpson is not my idea of a sport, however, I do love bourbon heavy mint juleps.